There is very little I can speak knowledgeably about because I am merely 24 years old and in the eyes of the world, that’s not very much. (I feel like I’ve been through Vietnam at this point but like I said… my opinion never really matters.) But what I can lay down, and you can kind of believe, is this girl knows how to graduate!

I get down in a cap and gown, believe me. 

I have many, many friends graduating today. Which is hard to believe as I graduated 2 years ago this weekend. But hey, the longer you can stay in school the better. Props to you and all your hard work! (That’s not sarcasm.)

1. ENJOY THIS TIME
(God I love a good list.) Enjoy this moment. This is the moment when you go out all weekend and you burn your textbooks using a high-flame lighter and Everclear. You think long and hard about the last 4, 5, 6 years and how hard you worked. The nights you spent up all night trying to finish off a bottle of Captain Morgan. You have a couple of weeks before reality sets in so just go completely crazy and binge eat/drink/sleep/tan for as long as you can endure. At the end of it will be your brand new adult life. It’s waiting to teach you a lesson or two.

2. IT’S OKAY TO ONLY BE HALF-A-PERSON
Do not get hung up on the meaning of “success”. I should have measured my accomplishments against the goals I had set in college. If I would do that more I’d be pretty proud of myself. I live in New York City, I never had to live with my parents, and I have a really cute dog. (I didn’t plan the cute dog but he’s so cute I had to toss him in.) Don’t get caught up with the bankers, the finance majors, the people who are already locking down 6 figure jobs and buying houses in the country. Feel free to make fun of them to nurse your own wounds. For example, they have a house in the country… 

3. BUT DON’T FORGET WHAT YOU HAVE SET OUT TO DO
The next couple of years are going to completely suck. Especially if you cut yourself off from your parents and move out to a brand new world. Suck, suck, and suck some more. You’re going to miss being fulfilled by interesting classes everyday. You’re going to miss the freedom of a lazy class-free afternoon. Everyday will start to feel the same and the stresses of your day-to-day life are going to be different and they are going to have some serious weight behind them.  Don’t forget what you have set out to do. This is a big mistake I made and make everyday. Don’t forget that college happiness and don’t forget that “I can do anything, f*#! the rules” attitude. If you get too old too fast you’re never going to get to enjoy being dead-ass broke and lonely in a city full of millions. (Okay, maybe that got too personal.) 

4. GET SOME HOBBIES
In the real world, you have to do this for yourself. There are no RAs, or Campus Activities Board who are going to force you to make new friends. You have to do this on your own. Volunteer, play sports, have fun. Give yourself something to do to pass the time that you are lonely, scared, confused and broke. Spend your money on things that make you happy and no, I don’t mean empty calories… though that will be an urge you’ll have quite frequently. 

5. EVERYTHING IS AN ACCOMPLISHMENT
You have to celebrate yourself because there is no one there to do it for you anymore. If you finish an assignment at work no one is going to slap a big, red ‘A’ on it and then give you 4 weeks off because “you’ve been working so hard.” Chances are, if you do well, they’ll turn around and give you something harder and more stressful to complete. I never learned to celebrate the small things. My completion of a half-marathon, or my new muscles (I used to be a bit “portly”), or my new apartment… My list runs out there because I don’t feel very accomplished… which only proves my point.

I’m not trying to be a complete downer and suck all the joy out of your weekend. Besides, if you are graduating right, you aren’t going to read this until next week when you wake up from your crazed, booze-daze. I just want to be real with you. Because I know when you were studying for finals and all of us “graduates” were posting pictures of us out having a good time… you need to know that we’re all liars and we do that to hurt your feelings purposely. We’re having a tough time and don’t want you to know it. I’m just putting an end to those lies right now.