May 2012
2 posts
8 tags
The Best of Rush Hour
And now a glimpse into New Yorkers daily lives. On average I’d say New Yorkers spend 40 hours a month in or on some sort of public transportation. We have buses, ferries, trains, subways… miles and miles of shared rails and paths. With so much time to kill we end up mostly just staring at each other and forming opinions.
THIS WOMAN WILL SHOVE HER WAY OFF THE TRAIN ONLY TO WALK AT A...
7 tags
How to Graduate
There is very little I can speak knowledgeably about because I am merely 24 years old and in the eyes of the world, that’s not very much. (I feel like I’ve been through Vietnam at this point but like I said… my opinion never really matters.) But what I can lay down, and you can kind of believe, is this girl knows how to graduate!
I get down in a cap and gown, believe me.
I have many, many...
8 tags
News Collage
Time to get a little creative and spice this monster up.
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April 30th, 2012 - The End of a Month
Woman with a Lens, Restored Prosecutor won’t call murder suspect serial killer The Red Flag in the Flowerpot A Feast in Disguise They Eat Puppies, Don’t they?
Trade Center is Back Cosmopolitan is Designing Things for JC...
April 2012
4 posts
10 tags
There's Only One Person Standing in My Way
…And it’s you Shannen Doherty.
Ok… not really. I wish it was. Then I could just bulldoze her right over with insults about this commercial and be on my way to my dream life.
The only person holding me back is me. God, that is so cliche I can just hear my professors rolling in their graves. (None of them are actually dead, I just always pictured them living in Poe-esque...
9 tags
Being 24: Expectations vs. Reality
My good friend and fellow blogger Justin Wade posted this article on his Facebook this week. It’s one of those, it’s funny because it’s true. You move to Manhattan and to everyone you say: “Yes, I know. It’ll be tough.” But deep down you are thinking: “I am going to make it. I am the next big thing.” And that doesn’t make you stupid because...
8 tags
Social Media is Now Professional Media
I Googled myself the other day and I was thinking about what type of person I portray. I guess it was because of this crazy Facebook controversy where employers are asking for their applicants’ Facebook passwords. Naturally, I think, most of us go:
Already, I think we are losing a battle against the freak flag. I understand the need for professionalism. I understand that I wouldn’t...
March 2012
2 posts
15 tags
My Dog is my Drinking Buddy
I figured out why my dog wasn’t eating or moving after a great first week:
I had depressed the f*!k out of him.
The past two weeks have been rough. I’m not going to run everything down because this isn’t a diary but I will briefly tell you what happened and then make fun of it. Humor and sarcasm are the only I can deal with anything. Call me wounded.
In very, very short...
9 tags
What Coors Light Means to Me
It means never having to say you’re sorry.
(I wouldn’t be totally out of line if that’s all I wrote, because that statement is entirely true and encompasses Coors Light entirely.)
Coors Light graced me with its presence two weeks ago when I was amidst what must be the busiest week at work I have had to date. It was absurd, it was like I was being offered a heart attack on a...
February 2012
2 posts
10 tags
Research that Makes You Dumber-er
I decided tonight that if I am going to start writing more comedy that I need to sharpen my humor knives.
To do this, I dove headfirst into The Real Housewives of Orange County. I’ll admit three things right away: 1. I watched an episode and a half. 2. I’ve seen it before. 3. It might fall into the category of “classic” because there are spin-offs all over the country. (I...
9 tags
The Movies Near My Apartment Suck
I have either become very pessimistic, a depressive (more so than usual), or undeniably old. My argument stems from the lack of movies I want to spend $13 on. Granted, I rarely see movies at night. I typically engage in Booze-in-my-Dunkin’ $6 before noon films at the various AMC theaters in the city. Gotta love a $6 matinee.
These are my opinions on some of the crap that fills our...
January 2012
1 post
6 tags
A Lot Can Change in a Month
…or while I am in the toilet-room. I just got three texts while I was in there.
I know I haven’t been here in awhile. The holidays really took their toll on me. I took a lot of deserved time off and then I tried to get those resolutions from last year off the ground in running. And I have accomplished a lot!!
From memory (and I have been at brunch all day…) my THREE...
December 2011
1 post
3 tags
November 2011
3 posts
6 tags
Succeeding One Non-Goal at a Time
or Failing One Goal At a Time or How I Lost Sleep Last Night
I couldn’t decide on a title because one is pessimistic (the usual “me”) and one is somewhat optimistic (the usual “me” with a vodka soda in hand) and one is the truth (I stopped myself from drifting off to a restful dream place wrapped in my boyfriend’s arms to write these titles down… I spent...
6 tags
Making Light of Death
So I skipped writing on Wednesday. That is because I have been inexplicably dizzy since Wednesday morning. Just straight up dizzy. It is as horrible as it sounds. I’m starting to think I have vertigo like my Dad but other people in my office are also dizzy so I am just going to peg it down as we are all being poisoned through the ventilation system.
I won’t be around for much longer....
7 tags
"I have an Addiction, Sir"
I clearly like to bring up archaic pop culture references now and again…every week. Which is why I am NOT writing about Kim Kardashian this week. Give me crotch shots! Give me Friends finale spoilers! …Give me candy now you gap-toothed bitch. (Alyssa, I’m sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It’s not your fault you’re so gap-toothed.)
In the spirit of...
October 2011
3 posts
11 tags
A Pre-Halloween Post Thingy
First off I’d like to name-drop/say I am so sad without Justin Dewey by my side. Comedy is A LOT easier when you have someone with you. I have duly noted this in my brain and when I have the funds I will take Improv classes. Not stand-up classes. I’m not very funny alone. *weep*
Anyway, I was dry for ideas this week and this is what happened:
jwinter: fucking greta barbo garbo ...
9 tags
Double Penetration. (The news as told by Amanda...
We (Amanda and Justin) decided it would be fun to write a blog together. So, when reading, if you see text in BOLD it is Justin speaking, and if see text in italics it is Amanda speaking. Below you’ll find some topics we found in the news this week - and don’t worry, we didn’t believe them at first either.
Two people did the nasty while jumping out of a plane.
Ok, so...
6 tags
"Work it... Are you worth it?"
You can pretty much exercise anything. Your rights, your body, your mind, your ability to piss people off. (I do that one almost daily, it’s not easy to keep up with.) And let me say I have the strength to exercise the my power of word to tell you that I just burned the HELL out of my tongue on this dumb ass tea.
The reason you haven’t been blessed with a post from me in nearly, or...
September 2011
3 posts
12 tags
I'm Cheating on James Franco with Ryan Gosling
There I said it. I thought that if I wrote about it and just got it all into the open I’d feel a lot better. I think my load already feels lighter. I am cheating on James Franco with Ryan Gosling… frequently. I blame Crazy, Stupid, Love and Drive especially. To clear my name of scandal, I have to start from the beginning, because Ryan and I have a history that’s quite...
9 tags
New York City, I just DON'T CARE
Do me a favor and click on this link. Look at the photos of these women that they just found on the “street.” The segment is called “Street Style.”
Right.
Since when is a pantsuit and heels Street Style? Where are the Asians in high tops?! I think I’ve missed the definition of the street somewhere… THIS LINK is why I have a hard time feeling like I fit in...
8 tags
Oops: Brenda Song's Pregnancy and the Human Race
So many things happened since I last posted. I took notes. I came up with great subject lines. I thought about 9/11 and my feelings. But then I saw in my OK! Weekly that Brenda Song is pregnant and anything actually meaningful went out the door.
Brenda Song, probably most notably known for her role as the Paris Hilton type named London (I see what they did there) on “The Suite Life of Zack...
August 2011
5 posts
6 tags
I really don't want to write about Hurricane Irene
Disclaimer: My entire life for the past 3 days has been Hurricane Irene. The media just inundate you with updates, coverages, speeches, experts. I appreciated it when I was trying to figure out what was going on but it was literally EVERYWHERE and it still is everywhere. What I am trying to say is I am annoyed and you are annoyed but I don’t really have a choice so let me just get this out...
8 tags
I don't know what I am going to do with Kim...
How long has this broad been famous? I don’t even know, I didn’t start taking an interest until my boyfriend announced that Keeping Up with the Kardashians was one of his favorite shows. This man doesn’t even watch the Jersey Shore and would rather listen to Billie Holiday drown in her own saliva. This was the same year that my somewhat decent friend Charles pointed out that Kim...
8 tags
New Movie Project! The Dougherty Gang
Everyone is dying for a Dougherty Gang movie… kind of like Bonnie and Clyde but a 3-way with lewd text messages and alleged prostitution. Anyone who knows me, knows that I was pretty obsessed with this story as it was breaking and deep down I was hoping the chase would last all summer. But it didn’t and now I must fight to keep it alive. It’s selfish, I know.
There is...
9 tags
Starting Over... Yet Again
Yes I stole that title from an episode of Sex and the City. I won’t lie to you. But this isn’t about a break-up and I wasn’t trying to use it as a way to lure people in. If I wanted cheap readers like that I’d promo this to other bloggers and promise them $ and dirty deeds.
I am starting over with my writing… (yet again).
This has been a year of transitions. If...
11 tags
I Am Pretty Much Bored with Everyone (Except for...
Can you give me something good to make fun of?
Celebrities, politicians, realty TV lame-os… you’re boring the ____ (insert flagrant curse word) out of me. J. Lo and Marc Anthony you’ve broken up? I knew you were a bad match when Jenny from the block was born a goddess and Marc was born a retarded lizard. The Bachelorette is happy/sad/happy/sad/happy-sad? It’s called bi-polar and Catherine...
July 2011
4 posts
6 tags
Being Sore Until October 2nd
I have decided to run a half marathon on October 2nd, 2011… now known as the day I intend to lose my mind. It’s around 10 weeks, closer to 9, away. So I haven’t exactly hit the difficult part where my legs feel like Jell-O and I sweat 23 hours a day. For all those old fans of mine you’ll vaguely recall I attempted this once before. I think I got to 6 or 7 miles and missed...
5 tags
People I Hate Who Walk the Streets of NYC
Self-Important Business Men
I don’t care who you are, who you work for, or what you are late for. There are no excuses for not holding a door open or stepping to your left when clearly I have nowhere else to go. Oh and I’m sorry my kneecap dented your briefcase as you swung it wildly around down 5th whilst BBMing all your buds.
Defensive Moms with Strollers
Women in NYC will use...
10 tags
Night Owl. Hooooo
I am not a self-proclaimed night owl. I am not a night owl by nature. I am a night owl by circumstance.
I am a light sleeper by nature. I must have really good hearing because EVERYTHING wakes me up. Sometimes I set my alarm on vibrate because I can’t deal with how loud the alarm is. When the upstairs neighbors’ kid wakes up crying, I am up… no stupid two-way radio needed. When...
13 tags
NYC Apartment Hunting (and an old pop culture...
Hunting for an apartment in New York City is like being a slayer but definitely more difficult than being a slayer. You have to patrol, because an apartment can be listed, rented, and inhabited faster than my last BM. (And I’m known to be fast.) I’d like to say there is a good time to peruse listings but mostly it’s at 3AM because that’s when vampires and the really good...
June 2011
3 posts
6 tags
Have you seen my stapler...?
I should be writing everyday.
Circle back around. Touch base. Lock in. On the line.
Maybe poetry, or a play, something beautiful.
Buy. Sell. Revenue. Profit. Sold. Invoice.
Something that embraces my generation, my feelings.
Scan. Fax. E-mail. Call. Research. Discuss. Schedule.
Or about the city skyline, the park, the sidewalks.
Beige. Navy. Plastic. Wood. Glass. Metal. Fake light.
I...
5 tags
It's Been 99 Years: Reunion
It has been 99 years since I’ve written. And I could say I’m sorry for that but… I’m not. I’ve been busy. Because while it hasn’t been 99 years since I last wrote it HAS been 5 years since I graduted high school and 9 since I started. And long story short… I went to my high school reuion last weekend, yes it’s the whole weekend, yes I went to...
9 tags
Recovery
When it comes to emotions… what is a full recovery? The ability to say “I don’t feel anymore?” or the ability to reopen your heart time and time again and say, “Hell yes, I can do this.”
I’ve been reading… okay, no, desperately addicted to The Hunger Games series for the past 2 weeks. I finished the 3rd book last night and was completely, totally, blown away. I haven’t geeked about a book like...
May 2011
6 posts
14 tags
Welcome to the Jungle
I am such a little post slacker but I figured I’d write a little diddy while suddenly sweating in my bedroom. When did it become August? Thanks for the warning NYC… you filthy… It might also be the fact that I went to Dallas BBQ tonight and I thought I was getting a brisket sandwich but wound up with a burger with brisket on top.
I almost died tonight.
In other news, Fleet...
8 tags
Can you have a heart attack at 23?
It’s time to get very, very real Tumblr-sphere. Reader-sphere. Sphere is a great word. My last post, was a hit, who doesn’t like hot Asian men? But like a good mix tape I’m going to have to go and bring it down real low for a second an entry.
I am less than a month away from having what everyone wants. A job, a boyfriend, a home. It’s the 3 big ones… of course...
11 tags
I'll take a Hot Asian Man to go, please.
Am I the only one craving H.A.M. after seeing Fast Five this morning? Oh my god come to momma. I’ve decided that there is a serious lack of men from Asian descent in mainstream Hollywood movies. I can’t really speak for Indie flicks, because let’s face it, just like with wine, I am not a connoisseur of fine films. Maybe I should rephrase, there is a SERIOUS lack of HOT Asian Men...
3 tags
Everyday I'm budgetin'
I am all about keeping a budget. I started doing this crazy obsessive tracking of every $ I spend when I moved to NYC. When I was at Iowa I knew what was in the bank and paid all my bills and gave myself some sort of limit “Don’t buy those shoes… you can’t afford them.” Now, however, I’ve gotten myself so tightly wound around money I panic if I spend over my...
7 tags
Come here. Go away.
Another week. Another post. What’s been going on party Internet people? Many topics crossed my mind before setting my hands before this lovely keyboard. All of them are wrapped in an allergy induced haze because lately that’s all I can think about or care about. I want to scratch my eyes out while simultaneously applying Neosporin to my red-sore nose.
That aside… I’ve also...
4 tags
Home again, home again, jiggity jig
I went to school 1,200 miles away from home. In Iowa. That’s a $300+ plane ticket away. I went when I was 18. I knew no one and left behind parents, brothers, friends, a boyfriend. I said goodbye and cut those ties and headed to the mid-west. My birthday? At school. Easter? At school. Halloween, weddings, showers, parties, barbecues, births, deaths, proms, dances, all of it. “Nope,...
April 2011
4 posts
7 tags
Long Distance Dating: Sacrificing and Compromising
Long distance relationships are so in right now. I’m not just saying this because my boyfriend lives 1,200 miles away and I need somewhere to vent (okay, maybe just a little bit) but LDRs even made it to the big screen last year in “Going the Distance.” The lesson learned in that film? Long distance works as long as someone moves to be with the other. Is making the move the ultimate sacrifice or...
5 tags
1 tag
When did everyone grow up without me??
I went to a wedding last weekend. Actually a week ago today. The bride was my best friend from about birth through middle schoolish when we both left our public school for other options. I was so honored to be invited…there were only 2 of us from childhood and I felt so loved. The wedding was beautiful and well done which is why I need to do this tactfully because the wedding was wonderful...
8 tags
Why I Love K-Mart
No. I am not dead. I haven’t posted for close to a week! That is terrible. That last entry must have taken some life out of me. Or maybe I am lazy/uninspired. At any rate, none of those are excuses.
For now let me just say, I really love K-Mart. I want to hate to K-Mart. I want to hate it along with Target and Home Depot and all those other big macho stores moving into NYC. I want to like...
March 2011
3 posts
10 tags
The Writer Who Listens (And why I need to invest...
Sometimes I feel like I am the only one around me who is inspired. Take that however you wish close friends because you know I’ll still love you anyway. I am the ultimate listener, which is why I think I write. I wonder if my listening is because I feel (and maybe this is just my desperate need for attention) that when I open my mouth people slowly drift away. Maybe it’s just bad...
3 tags
The last touchy-feely couple?
While not as serious as being the “Last of the Mohicans”… I still wonder where the last of my breed has gone and I mourn our extinction.
I’m not talking about overweight tourists sucking face and gyros in midtown, though I have to admit if you can stink of lamb, wearing sweats in public and STILL get some, I bow down to you. You’re clearly doing something right....
3 tags
It's absolutely gorgeous outside...
I have the day off. It’s St. Patrick’s Day. It’s sunny. Jeff is here from Chicago making us breakfast.
But enough about me and why I am so happy and why this post is so short! :)
I just wanted to share this great post for St. Patrick’s day:
CHEAP PLACES TO DRINK ON ST. PATTY’S DAY IN NYC
February 2011
3 posts
3 tags
Time to stop kidding myself...
I realize I am double posting this on both blogs but it’s important. I have 3 mega huge personal goals for 2011. I realize it’s not 1/1/11 but I just realized these are things I spend ALL of my time THINKING about but never actually taking the steps to DO. I will use this blog to track my progress and what becomes of actually doing these things. Since they all cost $ it won’t be as easy as 1,2,3...
3 tags
What it's like to be back at college...
…after you’ve left college.
I had a very interesting experience this week. I went back to school for the weekend. Yes, I was in the college town of all college towns (except, probably, Madison) Iowa City. I was there for 3 whole days. You may ask, what was that like?
Or it may not even phase you because you are still in college and you can’t even fathom graduation or what...
5 tags
If I had a million dollars...
…Or if I didn’t have student loans. I just wanted to see all the possible things I could spend my money on IF I didn’t have to pay back loans this year.
Disclaimer: I am very pleased with my education etc. etc. The COST of my education was/is appalling. Without my education I wouldn’t have a job but if you aren’t born into money then you are born into student loans....
January 2011
3 posts
5 tags
Top 5 Things I've Learned in NYC
5. How to Run Up and Down Numerous and Steep Subway Stairs (In Heels)
Good skill to have in NYC. Not really applicable anywhere else and thus can’t be included on future resumes. I am impressed however that after 4 years of running around Iowa in sneakers, it has only taken me a few short months to navigate the 59th Street uptown stairs in heels. Old dogs can learn new tricks.
4. Tourists...